It's that time of year when my loved one and myself set aside an evening to open a bottle of wine and discuss one of the most significant events in the Egger family calendar, to whit, the Great Annual Holiday.
As always, the first decision we have to make is whether we choose nude or not. As confirmed nudists, we naturally favour a naturist vacation, or at least a vacation during which we can get naked for part of the time. However it's not an automatic choice and this year There is a particularly tempting selection of textile rental deals. There is a Mediterranean cruise, the attractive appearance and the Rocky Mountain Rail Adventure takes my eye. Maybe we need to support one of the countries in the tsunami-devastated Indian Ocean on Boxing Day, or stay at home and renew (ugh!) However, it is likely that the choice was naked, and are six reasons.
Reason # 1
Getting naked, even for a short period of time, can help save your life!
I'm not overly dramaticAmazon.de. Looks like you got your clothes car disposals, restrictive, preventing the natural flow of blood and lymph fluid can be a real lifesaver.
According to the researchers, who wears a bra can cause all sorts of discomfort, pain and even breast cancer. The (real preliminary) research shows that women who wear bras more than twelve hours per day out of bed, 21 times more likely to suffer from breast cancer than those who wear bras less than those obtainedtwelve hours per day. And listen to this- those who wear bras even in bed are 125 times more likely to get breast cancer than those who don't wear bras at all! In cultures where ladies don't wear bras, the incidence of breast cancer is about the same as it is for men - virtually zero!
And it's not only the ladies who are at risk. The same research suggests that testicular cancer in men may be caused by tight briefs.
So, divesting yourself of bra and briefs, even for the short period of your vacation, could keep you much healthier.
Reason # 2
Less clothes = less luggage = less hassle.
Have you ever noticed how when you're packing for a holiday you can never seem to have enough clothes? And how you'll then spend the equivalent of the cost of the vacation on essential garments brought especially for the holiday? Yet, during your stay you find you've ended up with twice the clothes you need? It's spooky isn't it? Don't ask me why it works that way - probably some unexplained Law of Nature - but it happens EVERY TIME.
Except on a nudist holiday.
It's as if nudist holidays turn natural laws on their head. The scramble to cover every eventuality clothes-wise is replaced by a disdain for apparel bordering on the obsessive. My normal textile two page-packing list is reduced to just four lines, viz:
· Suitable clothing for travelling.
· Sufficient smart slinky dresses for evening wear.
· Shorts/skirt/tee-shirt for any non-nudist (referred to in nude-speak as "textile") excursions.
· And, ummm... well that's about it really.
The immediate effect of this textile trimming is that my luggage, which is normally equal in volume to a medium-sized car, consists of just one small suitcase. (OK, two, if you count the other one which contains life-saving items such as hairdryer, make-up, skin creams, lipsticks, jewellery etc - gosh, a girl has to look her best, even in the buff hasn't she?) Not only does this make for easier carrying and a swifter get-away from the luggage carousel, it also saves on tips. The largesse I would otherwise have to distribute just to transport my baggage train to the hotel would feed a family of five for a month. A spin off from this is that less clothing also means less packing and unpacking, leaving more time for drinking wine and dozing by the pool, which is the whole idea of a holiday in the first Place.
Well, for me anyway
Reason # 3
Do not scrub the skin.
Our skin is wonderful. It is not only the largest organ of our body, but it fits perfectly (OK. Sometimes some of us may be just a little 'more than necessary, but you know what I mean.)
Fortunately, it is also easier to keep clean tissue. My husband has a special fondness for pancakes - you know you can buy those things pancakes filled with kiosks your trip around the Mediterranean? Hadeat 'em all day if I let him. Unfortunately he also has a tendency to lose the syrup filling down his front, which has led to more ruined shirts than would fill a steamer trunk.
A nudist holiday neatly sidesteps this problem. Whilst maple syrup may not be particularly easy to remove from a naked chest - especially a hirsute male one - it 's a whole lot easier than washing it out of a silk or cotton shirt. Nor does it leave a stain, except for a livid red mark across the torso after the Syrup from the chest hair was removed, but the pay is the price of men for being so clumsy. (For the sake of equality, I must admit that this is not just a male character. After one or two bottles of wine have been known to leave my chest with something as gay, rendering any affected clothing null and distribute the load process. But I insist that this is not clumsiness on my part, but simply the result of my tired and emotional. So there.)
Reason #4
It makes more sense to be naked on a beach than to wear a bathing costume.
Let's face it. A bathing costume serves no useful purpose. It doesn't keep us dry, or warm, and doesn't even help us to swim: studies by the West German Olympic swim team showed that swimsuits actually hamper a swimmer. They're not even healthy. Ticks and sea lice that bite or sting and which find nowhere to hide on a nude body are easily trapped in a bathing suit.
So why do we wear 'em
To preserve one's modesty? Hardly. These days mens' costumes are brief enough but ladies bathers are positively miniscule, containing less fabric than a small handkerchief. Bikini tops afford less coverage than two postage stamps on a string, and in any case are rarely worn on European beaches. Bikini bottoms just cover the genitals but often leave the bottom exposed.
Which also means they don't protect you from the sun's harmful UV rays.
Yet according to a survey carried out by the Ladies' Home Journal Americans spend $900,000,000 each year on bathing costumes, although eighty-five percent of all swimsuits purchased never touch the water.
Doesn't make a lot of sense does it?
Reason 5
Nudist resorts are nice places with nice people
Every nudist knows that genuine nudists are very nice people. What makes nudist especially nice remains a mystery. Perhaps nudism attracts the pleasantest individuals in the first place, or maybe the practice of nudism somehow improves people. Who knows? And really, who cares? Let's just enjoy the situation. You can leave an unlocked car at a nudist resort and nothing will be taken. Nudist resorts and beaches tend to be orderly, well behaved places. Even at a nudist holiday city such as Cap d'Agde, containing some 40000 people at the height of the season, there is none of the threatening atmosphere, violence and general loutishness that disfigures other holiday hot-spots. Any sort of crime is almost non-existent, and most large complexes, even Cap d'Agde, need no more than minimal security.
You don't get that at Benidorm or Palm Springs!
Reason #6
Nudist entrepreneurs need our support.
Despite estimates that the world nude travel business is worth some four hundred million USD annually and growing fast, the nudist holiday industry is still a fragile plant that needs encouragement and support. The fine nudist resorts that cater to the nudist holidaymaker today are a away from the fields of early crying in a not too distant past, and calling on the new generation of tourists that require a certain standard of comfort, are largely responsible for the growth of leisure clothes. But quality costs money, and these places are businesses, not charities. If not them, they will close, and we will continue to support the old joke out of turn, run down, the connections make-do-and-repair yesterday. As the old saying goes:you have to use 'em or lose 'em
So, it looks as if we'll choose nude again this year. All we have to do is to decide where. Wait a minute. I've just had a wonderful idea. Perhaps we can support the Tsunami appeal and please ourselves at the same time by going nude in Thailand. That's it! Brilliant. Now, then, where are those brochures...?
No comments:
Post a Comment